A year goes by, and I can’t talk about it.Flyleaf, So I Thought (via im-smoking-to-die)
Since you left
My chest started to rott because
The kisses you placed on my collar bones
And neck and shoulders
Turned into ghosts
Along with you
And started to burn my flesh
And eat me alive
From the inside out
From my darkened heart
To my moon pale skin
And the touch of your lips on it
Was now more like a terrible gangrene
Consuming my body
And murdering my dying soul
And I thought I would be dead by now
Because my body was so small
It would have finished it by now
But my misfortune did not allow me
The relief of death
So I am still being tortured
By this bad disease you caused
When I shared my body and my heart
I Will Break Your Heart
RUN. SCREAM. GO. LEAVE WHILE YOU CAN. I WILL TAKE YOU AND I WILL RUIN YOU IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE AND YOU WILL NEVER CLOSE YOUR EYES WITHOUT SEEING MY FACE.
I am going to hurt you.
I will pump your heart and make you think nothing expect me and then before you see it coming I will rip your heart from out your chest.
I’m a vial of poison and I will spit venom down your throat and make you believe you’re choking on candy.
And if that’s not enough when you kiss me it will feel like glass is being shoved down your throat. You will look at me while choking up blood and I will look away and pretend I didn’t know it was going to happen.
Touching me will seem like the best thing on earth at first but later on when you touch me, it’ll feel like you’re cutting yourself on knives.
The flowers I placed inside your stomach will soon enough be watered with vodka.
And I will look into your eyes and smile because I so very much wouldn’t want you to think I’m destroying you
And I will clutch onto you and I will use you to make me feel better and so I won’t be alone. I will appear to be like the sun and the moon to you.
Only for it to be a disguise because the screwed up truth is that I am the darkness, the cold, scary, blackness.
You will fall in love with me and then I will leave you crying and pleading with me to stay.
But I won’t stay. I will never stay.
The whole time I will slowly suck the emotions out of you and by the time I’m finish all you will feel is an empty void.
A beautiful person once told me I wasn’t terrible and that I was sweet. I was told that I was a truely great person. Someone else told me that they knew that I had a good heart.
But right now my heart is rotting and turning black.
And right now if you look deep into my eyes, you can see the fire burning out that once made me feel alive, you can see the blood, and a flash of darkness of a person who is a monster.
I don’t need to prove a damn thing to you
but every morning, I wake up and I observe the way the sun
makes my stretch marks a baby pink instead of a
violent red and I run the tips of my fingers along them
like I would a lover’s cheekbones
and I fill the palms of my hands with my own flesh and think
how beautiful and soft that I am
and I let whoever I want experience me
in all of my entirety
because I know that I am special, and important, and worthwhile
and so soft and so beautiful
and so if that is not self respect,
I don’t know what is.
But I’ll tell you this:
self respect is never feeling the need to press
That is self hatred in its purest form.
Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.Robert Tew (via onlinecounsellingcollege)